Fear

That crippling fear, accompanied by all those nagging ‘what ifs’ (what if they say no, what if I fail, what if I embarrass myself…)—it’s often the very reason we hesitate to even try. It’s what makes us shy away from fantastic opportunities to speak in public.

Dry mouth, sweating, heart racing, the urge to flee, give a little visit to the nearest bathroom, or just disappear altogether? All of these (and many more) are just our body’s way of trying to protect us. They are a part of the fight-or-flight response, which is actually quite amazing—it’s what’s kept us alive for millennia, preparing us to either flee or face whatever threat is ahead. And standing alone on stage (in any form, even if it is just a small conference room) can indeed feel like a life-or-death situation. So yes, public speaking can trigger the same physical response as staring down a saber-toothed tiger.

“There are two types of speakers: those who are nervous and those who are liars” (anonymous, but often attributed to Mark Twain). It’s true. Every single one of us gets nervous before taking the stage. Every. Single. One. So there’s no need to feel ashamed, different, or alone. You’re actually part of a vast club, numbering in the millions. So, what sets apart those who want to burrow into the ground and never resurface due to the stress of public speaking from those who appear super cheerful and calm (but do not necessarily feel that way) before a presentation? It’s all about their attitude toward fear. They understand that the goal isn’t to banish fear altogether but to acknowledge it, embrace it, and then proceed to kick some serious butt in spite of it. And this is the first and very important step in getting comfortable with that fear.

What is the next step? Understanding it. I prefer to break it down into two categories: why we’re afraid and what we fear is going to happen during our talk. The first category might encompass more general and broader thoughts like ‘I’m not qualified enough,’ ‘I’m simply not a good presenter,’ or ‘I suffer from anxiety/panic attacks.’ The second category might involve concerns such as ‘What if I freeze?’ ‘What if the audience doesn’t like me?’ ‘What if I say something stupid?’ So, try to pinpoint why you’re afraid and what specifically scares you. It might be a single reason or a tangled web of concerns, and that’s perfectly okay. Perhaps you’ll realize that the only fear is of the fear itself and the strong physical responses it triggers. Moreover, you may not fully understand what lies behind it. This, too, is normal, as you can still learn how to handle the fear.

Once you understand the origins of your fear (or even if you realize that you don’t fully grasp them), and recognize that your goal shouldn’t be to eliminate it, you can confront it head-on in the most effective manner possible—one step at a time.